My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
