how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
