Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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