this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
