I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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