He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
