that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
