At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I want a musical about memes.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
