We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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