I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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