Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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