We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
