my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
