i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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