That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
