He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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