its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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