Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
love makes seman taste better
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
