No stitches, just platelets and will power
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
