I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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