I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
