last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
