I must be too annoying 4 u.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
