He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Too much gin, very little bucket
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
