even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
