HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
