Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
