All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
