Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
