You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
