so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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