I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
