I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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