you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
