it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
