The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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