his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
