We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I cannot find my penis.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
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