I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
