I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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