Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
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