PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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