I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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