is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
