Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
