...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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