Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
You took a bar mat shot.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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