I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
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