to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
