Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
