I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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