The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
