have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
