did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
