Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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