i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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